Birthday Suit

Not Me Monday is back and you can check it out on MckMama's blog.

Here's my Not Me Monday!

The other night, I went in to check on our two year old daughter before I went to bed, as I do every night, and did NOT find her naked from the waist down! She most definitely is NOT following in the dreaded footsteps of one of her older brothers! She did NOT have her diaper off and thrown into her closet, the top of her pjs still on and snapped with just her bare legs hanging out. She most definitely did NOT just pee ALL over herself and the crib to the point where I was NOT giving her a bath at 11:00 at night and there was NOT a puddle sitting on her vinyl mattress. She did NOT scream through her entire bath to then start giggling over how cute her new jammies were to then laughing at herself for tooting as I was dressing her. Nope, not my daughter!
As she is NOT dancing around the room, I am NOT having to go and get my tweezers to get a knot out of her dripping wet bumper and in doing so did NOT find one, two, or three binkies under her crib, BUT 6!!! I am an awesome mother and would never forget to pull out the crib just a few inches further to see if there were any binkies under there during my weekly check. She did NOT get super excited to find them all and want to have them all back in her bed! She did NOT proceed to ask me a hundred questions as part of her “what’s that?” phase as I am barely walking around absolutely exhausted and about to pee my pants because I do NOT have the bladder muscles of someone who has had four babies!!


Oh, and this did NOT happen on the night my husband left on a hunting trip! I NEVER have to handle these fun things all on my own!