Forutunate

For the past couple of months, just about every Wednesday morning, my mother in law comes and watches Peyton, Parker, and Piper while Paxton and I go out and run errands. It started out with me just going to the grocery store, but now I try to squeeze in as many errands as I can just so I can avoid the nightmare of taking all 4 kids!

Well, today was no exception and as Pax and I went from one errand to the next, ending in the grocery store, I run into a few women who are out shopping with their kids in tow. Even though I wouldn't wish badly behaved children on anyone, it gives me a little bit of pleasure, or maybe reassurance is a better word, watching someone else's kids do the same things that my kids do when I take them out by myself. I can smile to myself knowing that I'm not the only one with kids who are racing around the store, laying on the floor, putting holes in the eggs, touching everything they see, pulling candy off the shelf in the checkout aisle, having complete meltdowns as I continue to push the cart and walk away, or fighting, hitting, and/or yelling at each other (not that our children do this all the time - but at one time or another this has all happened to me or does so on a regular basis).

When I first get to the grocery store, I run into a woman (a rather outgoing, boistrous woman) with 2 kids (maybe 4 and 6) and she starts small talk with me and goes about her business. I then hear her yell at the kids and curse at them and although it catches my attention and my first reaction is "wow", I qucikly shut the judgment down and think about how many times I have slipped and said things to the kids that I never wanted to say to them or wish I could have taken back out of frustration and just as I'm thinking of this, she turns to me and says "Be glad he's still little" pointing to Pax. "Oh I have 4 kids, I know what its like." "Ugh, sometimes don't you just wish you could keep them that little forever?" she says. I laugh and agree.

I keep running into her throughout the store and she makes her little comments everytime I see her about whatever the kids are doing.  At one point she says to me "So how did you get out without all your other kids?" "My mother in law saved me!" and I laugh and she says "That's not fair. How lucky!" As I'm walking away I am thinking to myself  "You have no idea what I go through on a daily basis and how stressed out I am most of the time taking care of 4 small kids so close in age." I wouldn't say I'm lucky, but that I deserve the chance at not pulling my hair out, at not feeling like I'm tapped out and have nothing left in me to give but still needing to bleed just a little more, and my kids deserve a break from me and to be with someone who can see things with a fresh pair of eyes and have more patience for all that they will endure in just a few short hours because they aren't there dealing with it everyday, all day. Not to mention, I don't believe in luck either. I am very fortunate that my mother in law has the ability to take a few hours out of her day to help me out.

I know this woman had no idea that she would elicit such strong feelings in me with her comment, but I think what solidified it was her last comment to me, "How old are your kids?" "I have a 6 yr old, 3 yr old, 2 yr old, and an 11 month old".  To which she says, "What were you thinking?!?!" in a very loud and critical tone. I hate the judgments people make!!! I love my family and wouldn't change it for the world and for short of putting all my personal business out on the internet for everyone to read, we weren't planning on having Paxton, but God had other plans in mind and we wouldn't change that for the world!!! He is what completes our family of 6 and despite the hardships we might face, we would go through it all again and again!