Why?

I want to know why its ok for someone to take my husband's hard earned money to buy crap??!! I don't really discuss politics publicly because, well, that's just not my style, but I need to say something to all of those who feel the need to abuse the system!!


Twice now in my quick trips to the grocery store to pick up a last minute item, I have been behind women who have used food stamps to purchase nothing other than junk (candy, beef jerkey, random items that in my opinion are not what you should be using that money for!!) I am all for people who truly need the help, getting the help, but I am NOT for people using our money to buy things that aren't to help sustain a healthy lifestyle for your family. If you don't have enough money to purchase food for your family and you need help in doing so, than here is a novel idea - purchase FOOD!!

Why is okay for you to waste our money on things that aren't benefitting your family? Why do you need that beef jerkey the length of my leg (no lie!!!)? Or why do you need to have 6 candy bars? While I think these are treats and you deserve the right to have treats, but on your OWN money, not our's!!

I guess part of the problem lies in the system and not having stricter guidelines! Get the help if you need it, but use it to buy necessities, please! (don't even get me started on what these women were wearing - designer watches, Guess purses....)

Its not punny

Last night at dinner Parker is giving us trouble staying in his chair and eating, so Jeff says "Parker turn around and eat. If you want candy (candy they got at the Halloween parade), then you need to eat." Parker replies, "I. DON'T. WANT. CANDY!". Of course, I start cracking up! Hearing him talk in such complete sentences with such emphasis and to tell Jeff to take his food and shove it in so many ways just had me rolling. Parker scowls up his face and says "Its not PUNNY!" (His "F's" are "P's") Unfortunately this gets Peyton laughing too and ultimately defeats Jeff's attempt at bribing Parker to eat his dinner. Got to love the terrific two's!

Double edged sword

As I was putting the kids in the car after a LONG morning out running errands, an older woman stops me and says, "Wow, you took 2 of them out shopping with you!" Then I say "I actually have 4 kids." She says "Oh wow, you have 4?! You look too young to have 4 kids." To which I say, "I'm actually almost 30." "30?! You look 18!", she says. "Thank you.", I say. She then says "I have 4 kids and 12 grandchildren and am loving life. Enjoy them!" "Thank you. I will."

Why am I telling you this, you ask. Well because you don't know how much I get this. I am always being told I'm "too young" to have four kids (or 3 just a couple of months ago). While I know that I will appreciate looking younger than my true age later, I DON'T now!! I am tired of being attached to the stereotype of being a teenage, unwed mother or being judged for my choice in having 4 kids when I still have so much of my life ahead of me and how dare I have wasted my young years on having kids! As I know I am guilty of judging others, we all are, I am still amazed at how judgmental people are of the fact that we have four kids, close in age, and are young. I know I'm young, but I'm NOT a teenager. I have chosen to create this life for myself, am married to a wonderful man, and love my children , and am TIRED of having to defend it to perfect strangers!!!!! (now that's off my chest!) :)

A fault of mine is worrying. Worrying about everything, but I especially worry about what others think of me, so these judgments are always a huge deal for me and are very hard for me to shrug off. I'm always wishing I looked older to avoid this exact stereotype, but at the same time fear aging.

Its a double edged sword because as my birthday approaches (still about 9 months away - but we all know how FAST time flies) I am dreading turning the big 3-0!! Turning 30 is a HUGE fear of mine! (insert eye roll here - I know) But seriously, I feel like it marks a new chapter in my life and closes another. I know my child bearing days are over (thankfully, but still sad nonetheless to know that I will never get to enjoy that again), my days of having toddlers and even "little kids" will soon be over (some days that can't come soon enough, but I know I will miss that one day), being in my young twenties is no longer, and truly being "young" will surely disappear.

And if I'm being completely honest, I just don't want to get old! :) As many of you know, I took up running after having Peyton and really started to enjoy it. Running 20-25 miles a week was nothing and became a hobby of mine. Now, running has become a chore and it is taking its toll on my body! I know my body has been through a lot in the last 6 years (esp the last 3), but I am still amazed at how "old" I feel after getting off the treadmill or coming in from a run around the neighborhood. I guess its just a constant reminder that life is changing and I need to embrace it and enjoy the ride, no matter how old I look or how old I truly am.

Hodgepodge Tuesday

Because I didn't know what else to call today's post... its a hodgepodge of photos.


These are the pumpkins from our pumpkin picking day.


Parker and Daddy busy carving his pumpkin.

Peyton poking holes in his template.

The boys scooping the insides out. (yes, I know the pics are out of order, but I just don't have the time or energy to fix them.) :) My flash wasn't on and it got an orange glow, but I guess it makes it look a little more festive.

A visit to the park and the obstacle course. (And GO EAGLES!)

Piper climbing inside the hippo, sporting her pink Eagle's jersey.

Ribbit, ribbit...

Surprisingly I didn't have to work too hard to get this shot and I love it. My two toddlers want nothing to do with sitting still, let alone still enough for me to take a photo of them and Pax wanted me to hold him (BIG mama's boy) and not Peyton. BUT, we got it without a lot of tears or stress.

Piper (16 mos), Peyton (6yrs), Paxton (2.5 months), and Parker (2.5yrs)

Unconditional Love

I love reading "I Love You Through and Through" by Bernadette Rossetti-Shustak to Piper...

"I love you through and through.

I love your top side. I love your bottom side.

I love your inside and outside.

I love your happy side, your sad side,

your silly side, your mad side.

I love your fingers and toes,

your ears and nose.

I love your hair and eyes,

your giggles and cries.

I love you running and walking,

silent and talking.

I love you through and through...

yesterday, today, and tomorrow, too."

Unconditional love... its something so amazing that can't fully be understood until you look into the eyes of your child for the first time. You grow up knowing that your parents love you no matter what you do, but you can't fully grasp the enormity of that love until you experience it for yourself. You look into those little eyes, at their fingers and toes, and you instantly fall in love. Your heart melts with each giggle and each new word. Its a love that grows with each passing day.

Right now as I am just trying to keep my head above water and get through these "survival years" (as dubbed by a friend of mine - Jen), I am equally amazed at how reciprocated that unconditional love is. No matter how angry I get, or how many times I've flipped out over the food all over the floor, or how tired I get of changing the 100th diaper that day, or wiping hands and faces endlessly, they don't see my flaws and never fail to love without judging. (all of this will most likely change when they become teenagers, but for now I will enjoy it while it lasts) :)

Peyton, Parker, Piper, and Paxton, I will "love you through and through, yesterday, today, and tomorrow, too."

Tanya

15 lbs 3 oz

Photo taken by Gail Bunning from Gail Anne Photography

Paxton went for his two month checkup on Wednesday and he weighed in at 15 lbs 3 oz! He's growing well (obviously) and we are on to a new formula AGAIN to try to help this whole reflux thing. I'm saddened that I wasn't able to continue nursing for many reasons (his tongue tie and his reflux issues), but hopeful that this will be the answer we are looking for. Its hard to watch your little baby in so much pain. Forunately he will grow out of this and his medications are short term. (most likely until he's one)

Tanya

Tis the Season

And so it begins! I am now back to living at the pediatrician's office. Piper has an ear infection and Paxton is having reflux issues again.

I guess with four kids I'm bound to be there more than most, but even when I only had three I felt like I lived there over the fall and winter season.

In my many trips recently I have noticed things that I have never had time to see before (the Grandma's were watching the other kids allowing me to take just those that had an appt). As I'm sitting and chatting with whomever I happen to have with me, I've noticed parenting/pregnancy magazines sitting on the shelves in the room. Now I would like to know who has time to be reading these magazines other than people they don't pertain to? These magazines target audiences with younger children (often birth through preschool), not school age children or teens. I know that I do not have time to read these mags, because I'm usually catching juice cups before they hit the floor or find their way to the trash can, picking up books and puzzles up off the floor, keeping little hands out of all the unlocked drawers filled with medical supplies, chasing kids off the big scale that beeps every time they weigh themselves, keeping the boys from fighting over who will sit in the one and only chair in the room, keeping curious toddlers from unrolling the huge roll of paper, ripping pieces off and throwing them around the room, and keeping them from dragging their hands across the germ infested room and then conveniently making it to their mouths. As I was saying... who has time to read these?

I must give a little thanks to both Grandmas for watching the other kids for me because its been rather relaxing to take just one out with me.

Tanya

Pumpkin Patch

Today was pumpkin picking day.... We had a lot of fun taking a hayride to go and pick out pumpkins, climbing on haybales, playing in corn sandboxes, and playing on the combine slide.

Tanya